The gay marriage debate is front and center right now and if you are like me you are probably tired of all the equal signs and posts from either side of the argument. I have my own religiously held views about gay marriage but that’s not what I want to write about here. If you step back a little about the bigger picture of this issue than it’s important to look at exactly what is being discussed – Marriage!
What is marriage is the question being posed before the Supreme Court. What is marriage is the question we all need to ask ourselves. Quite frankly it is a bit hypocritical for the Christian believers to uphold the sanctity of marriage when the divorce rate among Christians is almost as high as with in the secular community.
I don’t have some great theological definition of what marriage is or should be. I only have my life experience of being married for almost 17 years. What I do know is that the equal sign has nothing to do with marriage. Early on in my marriage I bought in to society’s lie of equal partnership and that 50/50 equation of love and respect. The more I tallied up my results in my marriage the more I came up with an uneven score. I realized that keeping score is exhausting in a relationship and the more I did the more unhappy I was in my marriage. When I decided to let go of the equality equation, I began to feel what the sanctity of marriage was all about.
It is basically all about faith. It is the belief that even in the most difficult times my marriage will stand and live up to the vows we both made to each other. What a reflection of my faith in God. Like my marriage, I too have made a commitment to Christ. I have not always been the most faithful contributing partner in my union with Christ. However, God is always there to forgive and love me when I have broken that love and respect. I don’t hold score in my faith with God and I shouldn’t in my relationship with my husband. Marriage is a mirror of God’s love in an earthly form. It’s a daily reminder that among the ups and downs of life God is there loving me and devoted to me even through my marriage.
I don’t think the reflection of Christ in marriage is spoken enough with in the Christian community. Perhaps it is lost in psychological methods and reasoning. In the marriage debate in society it is all about equal love and respect. However, it is easy to love and respect someone just as easy as it is to break it. If our expectations of marriage are so equally calculated than it is understandable why so many people don’t live up to them. For me, understanding God’s depth of love for me has helped me to realize what exactly the sanctity of marriage is. It is a holy vow that cannot be put into any mathematical equation because faith cannot be calculated.