Are you the kind of person who cannot accept a compliment? Do you constantly downplay your abilities in front of others? Are you more fearful of success than failure? If this describes you than I think it is time you move out of Defeatville.
I have written about my own struggles with insecurity and low self-esteem on an older post. It is not something I have been cured of because, let’s face it ladies, we all struggle with insecurity from time to time. However, I have seen too many women live in a constant state of defeat. Some of it stems from emotional wounds, some from feeling the pain of failure but a lot of it is just plain fear.
I recently read a quote from the author Donald Miller. He said, “God puts your life on the door of His fridge with a magnet. He sees the beauty in you.” What a beautiful image as women and children of God. We display our own children’s paintings, writings and doodles on the walls of our house and our refrigerators. As mothers, we enjoy showing off the gifts and talents that God has given our children. Yet, when it comes to our own abilities we seem to hide them from view out of fear.
Many of us find safety behind the upbringing of our children. We get so focused on nurturing and developing the gifts and talents of our kids that we sort of retreat into a disappearing shadow of self-deprecation. Some of us lose ourselves in the midst of child-rearing and we fail to recover the beauty that God knows has been there all along. Now, I am not promoting being a working mother over a stay at home mom or vice versa. We all know the beauty that comes from self-sacrifice in being able to raise and nurture our children. I am simply driving the point that as women it is so easy to lose ourselves in the midst of our various roles. Many of us succumb to depression and fear under the weight of our responsibilities. However, God wants you to shine too.
Living in a state of constant “giving up my desires for others” can almost be a form of pride. It can also be an excuse. God wants us to succeed and show off our talents that He has given us. Yes, we need to balance them with our family’s needs. Many times, in the nature of our role, it will require that we have to take a back seat to others for a time. However, God does not want you to live in a constant state of defeat. Develop your gifts and reflect on a compliment that is given to you and let it blossom within you. Don’t hide behind failure because it is easier to live in a shadow then in the possible light of success. God wants to display His beautiful handiwork that is you with all your creativity, intelligence, uniqueness and beauty. As women, let’s start encouraging each other in our gifts and not let jealousy or bitterness discourage a friend from showing off her God-given ability. No one deserves to live in Defeatville!